Where Is the Clitoris? A Straightforward Guide Every Man Should Read

Understanding the clitoris is easily one of the most important knowledge bases to have if you want to deliver amazing pleasure and mind-blowing orgasms to female-bodied partners. It is truly the epicenter of pleasure for clit-owners.

“The clitoris and the penis are considered homologous structures—they develop from the same embryonic tissue,” explains Laurie Mintz, PhD, a licensed psychologist, AASECT-certified sex therapist, and author of Becoming Cliterate. So, to put this into perspective, the clitoris is as important to female pleasure as the penis is to male pleasure (yes, seriously). The issue? So many people don’t actually know where it is, how important it is, and how to stimulate it properly.

Look, you’re not alone for wanting to know about the clitoris—and the fact that you’re here shows you care about female pleasure (snaps for that!) This is a common question, and we’re here to offer some answers.

What is the clitoris, exactly?

Firstly, let’s start with one of our favorite facts of all: The clitoris is the only organ in the human body that’s sole functional purpose is pleasure. Which is pretty cool, if you ask us.

It is just absolutely chock-full of nerve-endings. “It contains approximately 10,000 nerve endings which is just as many as the head of the penis, but much more concentrated because it’s a much smaller surface area,” explains Lucy Rowett, a certified sex coach and clinical sexologist.

It’s important to understand that the clitoris is absolutely essential to female-bodied pleasure. Mintz says we should be considering clitoral stimulation as just as important as penetrative sex. “Stop hoping and expecting that your partner orgasms during intercourse and instead take turns orgasming,” Mintz says, “This way you and your partner both get to immerse in your own pleasure when it’s your turn and get to experience the joy of the other person’s pleasure when it’s their turn.”

Where is the clitoris located?

The clitoris is actually pretty enormous—which might be shocking to some people. “It might look small on the outside—despite it actually being an entire organ where the nerve endings go into the whole pelvic bowl,” Rowett says.

When we think of the clit, we often think of the glans—that small, bud-like structure at the top of the vulva. The glans clitoris is about one half to two centimeters in size. As with most things in the human body, size will vary from person to person. Every single clitoris, regardless of color, size, or shape is natural and normal.

Many of us missed the lesson on the internal clitoris—probably because no one ever told us (thanks, sex ed!). It extends beneath the labia and into the abdomen. You can’t see it when you simply look directly at a vulva. The internal clitoris, or clitoral body, can reach up to five inches in some women (with the average being about seven centimeters). Ironically, five inches is actually the average size of the male penis.

The clit contains bulbous internal extensions (the vestibular bulbs) and wings on either side (the cura). The whole thing actually looks a lot like a wishbone.

To get even more interesting, the clitoris is actually not part of the vagina (which only refers to the vaginal canal); it’s a part of the vulva, the external part of female sexual anatomy. Like the penis, the clitoris experiences erections, as it contains similar erectile tissue to that of the penis, which becomes engorged during sexual excitement and arousal.

The clitoris and penis are both sensory organs. In a sexual sense, this means they are sensitive to touch, arousal, and have the ability to produce lots of orgasms. What’s more, both sex organs have corresponding regions. The head of the penis is homologous to the glans clitoris, with the foreskin and clitoral hood related in a similar way.

Why this matters in the bedroom

The clitoris, if we haven’t made this perfectly clear yet, is central to female orgasm. If we ignore the clitoris, we are highly unlikely to offer our female-bodied partners much pleasure, let alone orgasms.

Penetrative sex, we hate to tell you, doesn’t often offer the stimulation necessary to provide orgasms. According to data from OMGYes, only 5 to 15 percent of female-bodied people orgasm through penetration alone. Research on female masturbation also suggests that most female-bodied people masturbate by stimulating their vulva and clitoris. What this tells us is that external stimulation is the way most people with clitorises experience orgasm.

So, yes, it’s pretty important for good sex! We have to stop thinking about it as “foreplay” or some kind of prelude to the “main event” (PIV intercourse). Clitoral stimulation through hands, fingers, mouths, and toys is just as important to sex as (if not more than) penetration.

How to stimulate the clitoris

Tip #1: Don’t just go right for the clitoris.

Start by getting your partner warmed up. You want to be sure they are super turned on before you go in for clitoral stimulation. Rowett suggests making out, a little neck biting, and feeling each other up to get the arousal process started.

Tip #2: Be mindful of pressure.

The clitoris is generally more sensitive than a penis, so you want to keep that in mind before diving in. “The pressure that you use to get yourself off will probably be far too much for a vulva owner, and even be potentially uncomfortable or painful.” She recommends starting with lighter pressure and then moving to move intense sensations (if your partner wants that).

Tip #3: Always use lube.

If you’re going to touch a clit, get yourself some lube. Mintz says that clits DO NOT like to be touched dry. “Dry rubbing is about as pleasurable as sliding down a water slide with no water, so the wetter the better,” Rowett adds. And we couldn’t agree more. Check out our lube guide for some of our favorites.

Tip #4: Don’t ignore the rest of the vulva.

While the clitoris is the center of pleasure, the rest of the vulva can get involved in the fun, too! “Work with the whole surface area,” Rowett says. “You can switch up from using a couple of fingers to using more or even the flat of your palm.”

Tip #5: Try the circling technique.

Rowett says that circling the clitoris with your tongue or fingers is a classic for a reason: It’s pretty widely enjoyed. You just want to be sure you’re circling the actual clitoris. “For some people, the clit can be a bit hidden amongst the inner and outer labia and public hair, so use your fingers to find that little nub,” she says.

Tip #6: Get the G-spot involved.

While you’re stimulating the external clitoris, you can bring in the G-spot to up the pleasure. The G-spot is actually the backend of the clitoris (the internal clitoris). Using one or two well-lubed fingers or a G-spot toy, “make a ‘come hither’ motion with them (meaning they’re slightly curving up) and slowly rub on the G-Spot/G- area,” Rowett says.

Tip #7: Bring toys into the mix.

Vibrators are not your enemies, they are your teammates. They are literally designed to offer up intense, amazing pleasure, especially for clit-owners. So, bring in the toys! “Specifically, have the clit owner stimulate [themselves] during intercourse with a small handheld vibrator,” Mintz says. “We know [female-bodied people] who use vibrators have easier, more frequent and more intense orgasms. So, have penetrative sex in a position in which the woman can access her clit [with a vibe].”

Tip #8: Try clit-stimulating sex positions.

Some sex positions are better than others when it comes to getting that much-needed clitoral stimulation. Rowett suggests trying cowgirl for this, as it works especially well. “You can not only freely move your hips but it gives you direct clitoral stimulation, too.” You can also adjust missionary for better access to the clit. “You can either slightly switch up the angle so the person penetrating is more at a right angle which gives you space to use your hands for rubbing the clit, or you can put a toy there [during classic missionary,” she tells us.

FAQs:

“Is the clitoris the same as the G-spot?”

The clitoris and the G-spot are two parts of the same structure. At least, kind of. The external clitoris is the part of the clit that you can see on the outside. The G-Spot is the intersection of three internal structures: The vagina, the clitoris, and the urethral sponge (also known as the CUV area). When you’re stimulating the G-spot, you’re stimulating the internal body of the clitoris—as well as the vagina and urethral sponge.

“Do all women like clitoral stimulation?”

While the vast majority of female-bodied people do enjoy clitoral stimulation, not everyone will. The thing is, all humans are different. This is why it’s always really important to have open and honest conversations about how someone likes being touched in order to ensure everyone has the best sexual experience possible.

Does clitoral stimulation always lead to orgasm?

Orgasm is a complex neurobiological process. While clitoral stimulation is a great avenue to provide orgasms for female-bodied people—it might not always result in a climax. Instead of focusing entirely on orgasm as the “main goal,” try focusing on pleasure. After all, it’s about the journey, not the destination.